Writing Task 2

IELTS(アイエルツ)7.0対策 – Writing Task 2

General Information

はじめに

Writingのスコアを上げるためにはTask 2の完成度を高めることが大切。

Oxford, Cambridgeの一部の学部ようにListening, Reading, Speaking, Writingの全てで7.0、Overallで7.5が要求される場合、一般的な日本人にとって、Writing Task 2の完成が一番最後になる可能性が高い。早くから対策をしないと、各7.0の要件をクリアできなくなる。

Task 2も文の構成はパターン化できる。パターン化をマスターすれば、あとは書く内容(アイディア)がスムーズに出てくれば35分でも焦らずにクオリティの高い文が書ける。

7.0のポイントはAcademicに書くこと。書いている内容は同じでもNominalizationなどAcademicな書き方になっているかが問われる。(Speakingで話す形で書いても得点にはつながらない。)

参考になるサンプルから言い方や使える単語などを自分のWritingにたくさん取り入れることが大切。自分の持っている語彙力と表現力を高めない限りスコアはアップしない。

とにかくアウトプットの質と数を上げて、ネイティブからのフィードバックを反映させることが必要。

時間配分

Task 2の方が採点割合が高いのでTask 2を気持ち的余裕をもってクオリティを高めた方がよい。なので、Task 2からスタートさせ、40分(できれば38分)で終わらせる。その後Task 1に残りの20分を使う。(Task 1とTask 2は合わせて1時間)

40分の内、最初の5~8分は何をどう書くかを練る時間、残り32~35分は書く時間。

しっかりと書く内容(自分の意見、トピックセンテンスをどうするか、例を何にするか)を決めてから書き始める。

スコアが出ないときほど最初のアイディアを練る時間が不十分で思いつきで書いている傾向があるので焦らずに何をどうかくかをじっくりと書く前に考える。

字数制限

250字以上:270字~300字を目安。最大字数制限はないが余計なことを書いて論点を外さないために長くても300字前後までにする。

Paper basedの場合絶対に練習で紙に書いてみて文字数を数える。だいたいどこまで書けば250字を超えるかしっかりとテスト前に把握しておく。文字間隔が広いと1枚では250字に満たない場合がある(本番では2枚目ももらえるので無理に小さい字で書く必要はない)。

問題形式

5つのタイプの問題の中から出題される。1. Opinion/argumentative essays、2. Discussion/discursive essays、3. Advantage/disadvantage essaysの頻度が高い。

  1. Opinion/argumentative essays (Positive and Negative questionsもOpinion essaysに含む)
  2. Discussion/discursive essays
  3. Advantage/disadvantage essays
  4. Problem (cause) and Solution question essays
  5. Direct Question/ two parts question essays (a mix of all five question types)

どの問題形式でもパラグラフ構成は同じで、”イントロダクション⇒ボディ1⇒ボディ2⇒結論”の4パラグラフにする。

1. Opinion/argumentative essays:

Opinion/argumentative essaysの問題例:

Some experts say for road safety cyclists should pass a test before being allowed on public roads.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

主張を明確にするために、どの程度(To what extent)と聞かれても、completely agree (100%賛成) かcompletely disagree (100%反対)のどちらかで答える。

詳細とサンプルはPractice: Opinion/argumentative essays参照

Positive/negative essaysの問題例:

Fossil fuels are the main source of energy around the world today. In some countries, the use of alternative sources of energy is replacing fossil fuels.

Is this a positive or negative development?

(Positive vs negative essayとしてカテゴリを分けているテキストもあるが、PositiveかNegativeかのOpinionを聞いているのでここではOpinion/argumentative essayとして紹介する)

ボディ1・ボディ2両方ともポジティブ、ボディ1・ボディ2両方ともネガティブにして100%どちらと思うかを書くか、ボディ1にポジティブ、ボディ2にネガティブを書いて、ポジティブの面もネガティブの面も同じくらいあるという結論にしてもいい。

詳細とサンプルはPractice:Positive and Negative questions参照

2. Discussion/discursive essays:

Discussion/discursive essaysの問題例:

Some experts say for road safety cyclists should pass a test before being allowed on public roads. However, others think it is more beneficial to strengthen patrols by police.

Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

* “and give your own opinion”はない場合もある

Give your own opinionがある場合、自分が反対する方をボディ1自分が賛成する方(推す方)をボディ2にする。先に反対する方を書いた方が、その反対する方を受けて賛成する方を書けて結論に結び付けられる。

詳細とサンプルはPractice:Discussion/discursive essays参照

3. Advantage/disadvantage essays:

Advantage/disadvantage essaysの問題例:

Some experts say for road safety, governments should encourage people to use bicycles instead of cars.

Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

ボディ1にAdvantage、ボディ 2にDisadvantageを書く。(Discussion essayの様に反対する方をボディ 1にするように書いてあるテキストもあるが、AdvantageとDisadvantageの両方を書くように問題にあるのでどちらを先に書いてもよい)

同じくらいやどちらかが少し多いなど主張が曖昧になる回答は避けて、100%Advantageか100%Disadvantageが大きいで答える。

詳細とサンプルはPractice:Advantage/disadvantage essays参照

4. Problem (cause) and Solution question essays

Problem (cause) and Solution question essaysの問題例:

Using fossil fuels causes too many environmental problems. This is totally unacceptable as other forms of energy are available.

What problems are caused by using fossil fuels? What solutions can you suggest?

Problem/CauseとSolutionはリンクさせて、ボディ1で書いた問題に対する解決策をボディ2に書く。

詳細とサンプルはPractice:Problem (cause) and Solution question essays参照

5. Direct Question/ two parts question essays (a mix of all five question types)

Direct Question/ two parts question essays (1-4を混ぜたタイプの質問)の問題例:

Many elderly people are involved in traffic accidents when they are riding bicycles. Why do you think so many elderly people are involved?  What are the possible solutions?

(“Why do you think so many elderly people involved?” = Opinion / “What are the possible solutions?” = Solution)

1つ目の質問をボディ1に、2つ目の質問をボディ2に書く。

詳細とサンプルはPractice:Problem (cause) and Solution question essays参照

How to write

パラグラフ構成

どんな問題タイプでもパラグラフの構成は、

イントロダクション (Paragraph 1)ボディ1 (Paragraph 2)ボディ2 (Paragraph 3)結論 (Paragraph 4)

の4パラグラフ構成にする。

それぞれのパラグラフの書き方は以下の通り。

イントロダクション

イントロダクションパラグラフには① 問題文のパラフレイズ、② Outline statement、③ Thesis statementの3つの要素を入れる。

① 問題文のパラフレイズ

Task 1と同じで書き始めの第1文目は問題文のパラフレイズ(問題定義)。まずエッセイの第1文目でこのエッセイが何について書いているのかを書く。「何について書くか」はすでに問題文に与えられているので、問題文をパラフレイズ(=同じ意味で違う言い方で書く)してエッセイが何について書くかを最初に定義する。

問題文のTopic words, Other keywordsをすべて網羅するようにパラフレイズする。必要に応じて説明の単語を追加する。

問題文のParaphraseのコツ

問題文に使用されている単語はできる限り同意語に変える。(変えられない単語はそのまま使用しても良い)

単語以外にも文型や節/句を変えて、問題文の意味は“ほぼ”同じに保ちつつ、全く違う言い方に変える。

問題文のパラフレイズの例

【問題文】

Nowadays, air has been polluted because the manufacturing industry has expanded and more people are using cars.

【パラフレイズ】

The causes of rising levels of air pollution are the growth and expansion of the manufacturing industry as well as the number of people travelling by car.

【パラフレイズ】

The reasons for rising levels of air pollution are the development of the manufacturing industry and increased road travel.

【問題文】

Many people are unhealthy because they do not exercise enough and do not eat a well-balanced diet.

【パラフレイズ】

Failing to eat a well-balanced diet and not exercising regularly are the reasons that many people have poor health. 

【パラフレイズ】

Many people fail to exercise enough and to a eat well-balanced diet so, for this reason, they are unhealthy.

【パラフレイズ】

Many people are unhealthy because they fail to do enough exercise and fail to eat nutritious food.

【パラフレイズ】

Many people have poor health due to lack of exercise and disregard for their diet.

⇓ 

【パラフレイズ】

Neglection of nutrition and exercise are the reasons that many people have poor health.

② Outline statement & ③ Thesis statement

問題文のパラフレイズ(問題定義)の次は、ボディ 1とボディ 2のトピックセンテンスの概要(Outline statement + Thesis statement)を簡単に書く。

Outline statement:ボディで何について書いていくのかを簡潔に述べた文

Thesis statement:自分の意見を述べた文(do you agree or disagreeやand give your own opinionがある場合だけ:問題によっては書かない)

Outline statement, Thesis statementの書き方

イントロダクションのパラグラフを読んだだけで、“何の問題に対して、このEssayが何を主張しているか”が分かるようにする。つまり、問題文のパラフレイズ(=“何の問題に対して”)とOutline statement & Thesis statement(=”このEssayが何を主張しているか”)をしっかりと書くことが大切。

Outline statementとThesis statementをかっちり分けて書く必要性はない。Outline statementやThesis statementと学術的には分けているが、長々としたイントロダクションになりがちなので、IELTSの限られた文字数ではまとめてコンパクトに書いた方がいい。

×:Outline statementとThesis statement ダメな書き方

I am in disagreement with this proposal because the proposed licence scheme does not lead to road safety as it is impracticable to enforce the test scheme on all people using bicycles and it is ineffective to change people’s bad habits of riding bicycles. 

△:Outline statementとThesis statement 思いつかないなら仕方ない書き方

I am in disagreement with this proposal because imposing the test on all bicycle riders is impractical and ineffective.

〇:Outline statementとThesis statement コンパクトに纏まっているよい書き方

I am in disagreement with this proposal, considering the impracticability and ineffectiveness of this suggestion.

イントロダクションパラグラフ(Paraphrase, Outline statement, Thesis statement)の例

《例1》

In some countries, governments are encouraging industries and businesses to move to regional areas outside the big cities.

Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantage?

Many companies nowadays are encouraged to relocate from urban to rural areas. This essay will argue that this idea brings economic benefits to rural areas but will also show it involves negativities with regards to environmental issues. While acknowledging the positive effects of this proposal, this essay will also claim that the drawbacks outweigh the positives.

(ボディ 1:rural areasへのeconomic benefitsについて、ボディ 2:environmental issues(negativities)について)

《例2》(例1のOutline statementとThesis statementを一体にしたもの)

In some countries, governments are encouraging industries and businesses to move to regional areas outside the big cities.

Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantage?

Many companies nowadays are encouraged to relocate from urban to rural areas. This essay will argue that the negativities with regards to environmental issues caused by this idea outweigh the economic benefits that are brought to rural areas.

(ボディ 1:rural areasへのeconomic benefitsについて、ボディ 2:environmental issues(negativities)について)

《例3》

Some experts say for road safety cyclists should pass a test before being allowed on public roads.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is argued by some experts that a licence scheme for riding bicycles should be introduced for the sake of road users’ safety on common roads. I am in disagreement with this proposal, considering the impracticability and ineffectiveness of this suggestion.

(ボディ 1:impracticabilityについて、ボディ 2:ineffectivenessについて)

なお、自分の意見(Thesis statement)が求められない問題タイプ(Two parts question type)の場合には、Outline statementのみでOK.

Many elderly people are involved in traffic accidents when they are riding bicycles. Why do you think  elderly people are involved? What are the possible solutions? ‌

Nowadays, there are many road accidents involving older cyclists. This essay will demonstrate that the main reason for this is a loss of brain function and show that a mandatory licence scheme is the logical way of tackling this issue.

ボディ1 & ボディ2

各ボディパラグラフはトピックセンテンスと複数のサポートセンテンスから構成され、トピックセンテンスから書き始める。

英語の書き方を理解したうえでトピックセンテンスとサポートセンテンスをしっかりと書く。日本語的な発想で書いてしまうと日本人には伝わるが英語圏の人には伝わらずスコアはでない。

トピックセンテンスとサポートセンテンス

トピックセンテンス

トピックセンテンスとは、“そのパラグラフで言いたいこと(主張)”を端的に書いたパラグラフの中で最も重要な一文。IELTS Writing Task2ではボディ1、ボディ2の第1文目には必ずトピックセンテンスを書く。

トピックセンテンスを見ただけでそのパラグラフの概要が分かるようにする。

”1パラグラフ = 1つの主張=1つのトピックセンテンス” が鉄則。

Some experts say for road safety cyclists should pass a test before being allowed on public roads.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

【イントロダクション】

It is argued by some experts that a licence scheme for riding bicycles should be introduced for the sake of road users’ safety on common roads. I am in disagreement with this proposal, considering the impracticability and ineffectiveness of this suggestion.

【ボディ1impracticabilityについて】

Firstly, imposing a nationwide licence policy for all cyclists is inviable due to the large number of bicycle users on the roads today. 👈トピックセンテンス

【ボディ2ineffectivenessについて】

Secondly, imposition of test does not lead to safety of cyclists on roads. In other words, traffic accidents involving bicycles usually stem from the lack of morality of cyclists. 👈トピックセンテンス

👆フルセンテンスは”6.5と7.0の違い”参照

トピックセンテンスは曖昧でも具体的でもダメ。

ダメ:曖昧なトピックセンテンス:Professional boxers eat a healthy diet. 

ボクサーの健康的な食事についてパラグラフでは書かれているのは分かるが、カロリーについて?具体的な食べ物について?栄養バランスについて?健康食と減量の関係について?この1文からでは分からない。

ダメ:具体的なトピックセンテンス: Professional boxers on average consume 5000 calories per day. 

具体的な数字などの情報はメインの主張をサポートするために使う。このような文章はサポートセンテンスとして使う。

良い:Professional boxers have particular dietary requirements that support high performance levels. 

このトピックセンテンスのパラグラフでは「パフォーマンスを高めるためのプロボクサーの食事制限」について書かれていることが明確。逆にこのトピックセンテンスのパラグラフでは、professional boxersのdietary requirementsとhigh performance levelsの関係を明確に書く必要があり、それ以外のことに話が飛躍してはいけない。

スコアが伸びないWritingはトピックセンテンスが上手く書けていない場合が多い。

例えば、トピックセンテンスに「+ to 不定詞」をオマケでつけたつもりでも、それは「+ to 不定詞」の視点からもサポートセンテンスを書く必要がでてくる。

Professional boxers have particular dietary requirements that support high-performance levels.

Professional boxers have particular dietary requirements that support high-performance levels to win matches.

この場合high performance levelとto win matchesを結び付けたサポートセンテンスがパラグラフの中で必要になる。

サポートセンテンス

サポートセンテンスとはトピックセンテンスに関して、詳細な情報、理由、具体的な例、証拠など。

Professional boxers have particular dietary requirements that support high performance levels. 

のトピックセンテンスに対しては、professional boxersのdietary requirementsについて、high performance levelsのための具体的なdietary requirementsやその理由、具体的な食べ物など、トピックセンテンスについて「なるほど、そうなんだ」と思わせる文がサポートセンテンス。

IELTSではボディ1とボディ2のサポートセンテンスは、次の3つにする。

  1. トピックセンテンスの説明
  2. 具体例
  3. 追加説明・追加情報

1.トピックセンテンスの説明

トピックセンテンスは、そのパラグラフで言いたいこと(主張)を”端的”に書いたパラグラフの中で最も重要な一文。その端的な文にもう一歩踏み込んでトピックセンテンスの説明を書く。

トピックセンテンスの説明はトピックセンテンスの単なる言い換えにならないように注意する。必ず発展させた詳しい内容にする。

1.トピックセンテンストピックセンテンスの説明を追加

Some experts say for road safety cyclists should pass a test before being allowed on public roads.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Firstly, imposing a nationwide licence policy for all cyclists is inviable due to the large number of bicycle users on the roads today. 👈トピックセンテンス To be clearer, in many countries, unlike the number of automobile drivers, tremendously large numbers of people, from children to adults, rely on bicycles as a means of everyday transportation. 👈トピックセンテンスの説明  

👆フルセンテンスは”6.5と7.0の違い”参照

2.具体例

次にトピックセンテンスの説明を裏付ける具体例を書く。”For example, —“や”For instance,—“から始める書き方でOK。

2.トピックセンテンストピックセンテンスの説明具体例を追加

Some experts say for road safety cyclists should pass a test before being allowed on public roads.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Firstly, imposing a nationwide licence policy for all cyclists is inviable due to the large number of bicycle users on the roads today. 👈トピックセンテンス To be clearer, in many countries, unlike the number of automobile drivers, tremendously large numbers of people, from children to adults, rely on bicycles as a means of everyday transportation. 👈トピックセンテンスの説明 In Japan, to encourage children to start using a bicycle at a very early age, many elementary schools have a program which educates them not only in skills for safe riding but also in road regulations. 👈具体例 

👆フルセンテンスは”6.5と7.0の違い”参照

具体例は思いつかなければ都合のいい例を自分で勝手に作る。例えば”講習を受けた学生の自転車事故が20%減った”という例も、(常識の範囲内で)数字をテキトーに入れることで説得力がある文になるので、このような例はウソでも勝手に作って書く。(問われているのは内容ではなく書き方と英語力)

Since the educational bodies have mandated students to undergo training courses for safe bicycle riding, the number of traffic accidents involving them has declined by 20%.

具体例は個人的な経験ではなく客観的に見て説得力のある具体例にする。例えば、「自転車講習を受けて自分は安全に気を付けるようになった」という例ではなく、「自転車講習を受けた受講生へのアンケートで安全への配慮の大切さを感じたと答えた人は80%に達した」と書く。(NGライティング

3.追加説明・追加情報

更に、具体例に対して「もし—が—だったら」という仮定法など、具体例を受けてトピックセンテンスの主張をバックアップする内容を書く。具体例は”事実”なので”その事実が—だったら”という仮定法はボディ1かボディ2で使うとスコアアップにつながる。

ボディ1・ボディ2の両方で同じように具体例(事実)に対する仮定法を書いてしまうと各ボディで同じような構成になってしまうのでボディ1で仮定法を使ったらボディ2ではNot only—, but also構文でより深い内容を書くなど違う構成にする。

3.トピックセンテンストピックセンテンスの説明具体例追加説明・追加情報を追加

Some experts say for road safety cyclists should pass a test before being allowed on public roads.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Firstly, imposing a nationwide licence policy for all cyclists is inviable due to the large number of bicycle users on the roads today. 👈トピックセンテンス To be clearer, in many countries, unlike the number of automobile drivers, tremendously large numbers of people, from children to adults, rely on bicycles as a means of everyday transportation. 👈トピックセンテンスの説明 In Japan, to encourage children to start using a bicycle at a very early age, many elementary schools have a program which educates them not only in skills for safe riding but also in road regulations. 👈具体例 If a licence was required, all children owing bicycles would be subjected to surveillance by police officers in their legal compliance and riding practice, which is obviously impractical. Therefore, such policy is meaningless for road safety.👈追加説明・追加情報

👆フルセンテンスは”6.5と7.0の違い”参照

トピックセンテンスとサポートセンテンス:日本語文と英文の違い

日本語

先に読者に情報を与えてから、最後にパラグラフの主張を書く。

政府がファストフードの利用回数を制限すれば肥満や糖尿病などの生活習慣病を減らすことができる。マクドナルドの売上げが多い国ほど国民の肥満の割合は多く、マクドナルドの売上げが最も多いアメリカでは人々は週に1度ファストフードを食べ5人に1人が肥満とされている。一方売上が最も低いベトナムでは肥満は100人に1人である。つまり、ファストフードが健康に与える悪影響は明確であり、政府が国民の健康を守るためには積極的に介入することが必要である。従って、健康面からファストフードでの食事を政府は制限するべきである。

英語

これを英語で書くと、文の1文目に主張(トピックセンテンス)、その次にトピックセンテンスを説明するためのサポートセンテンスを書く。

健康面からファストフードでの食事を政府は制限するべきである。ファストフードが健康に与える悪影響は明確であり、政府が国民の健康を守るためには積極的に介入することが必要である。例えば、マクドナルドの売上げが多い国ほど国民の肥満の割合は多く、マクドナルドの売上げが最も多いアメリカでは人々は週に1度ファストフードを食べ5人に1人が肥満とされている。一方売上が最も低いベトナムでは肥満は100人に1人である。また、糖尿病にも似た傾向がある。つまり政府がファストフードの利用回数を制限すれば肥満や糖尿病などの生活習慣病を減らすことができる。

英文のパラグラフのトピックセンテンス(主張)は「健康面からファストフードでの食事を政府は制限するべきである」になる。

英語の場合、頭の中に既にパラグラフの論点/主張がある状態でサポートセンテンスを読むことにより、その論点/主張について理解することができる。

そして、サポートセンテンスは、トピックセンテンスへの

理由)ファストフードが健康に与える悪影響は明確であり、政府が国民の健康を守るためには積極的に介入することが必要である。

例)例えば、マクドナルドの売上げが多い国ほど国民の肥満の割合は多いく、マクドナルドの売上げが最も多いアメリカでは人々は週に1度ファストフードを食べ5人に1人が肥満とされている。一方売上が最も低いベトナムでは肥満は100人に1人である。また、糖尿病にも似た傾向がある。

トピックセンテンスへの追加情報)つまり政府がファストフードの利用回数を制限すれば肥満や糖尿病などの生活習慣病を減らすことができる。

このようにトピックセンテンスの主張を、理由、例、追加情報のサポートセンテンスによりサポートする形になっている。

日本語と同じ順番で文書を書くとトピックセンテンスは「政府がファストフードの利用回数を制限すれば肥満や糖尿病などの生活習慣病減らすことができる。」になり、「肥満を減らせる:制限の効果/メリット」という主張のトピックセンテンスになってしまい、「制限するべき:制限の必要性」という主張のトピックセンテンスではなくなる。

このように、日本語の文を順番をそのままに英語に直すだけではトピックセンテンスの主張が全く異なってしまう。

結論

結論はイントロダクションを要約した文書。イントロダクションに書いたボディ 1とボディ 2の主張 (outline statement) と自分の意見 (thesis statement)を改めて“違う言い方で”書く。

絶対に何か新しい主張やアイディアを付け加えてはいけない。

In conclusion, もしくは To conclude, からスタートして結論であることを示す。

《イントロダクション》

It is argued by some experts that a licence scheme for riding bicycles should be introduced for the sake of road users’ safety on common roads. I am in disagreement with this proposal, considering the impracticability and ineffectiveness of this suggestion.

《ボディ 1》:impracticabilityについて

《ボディ 2》:ineffectivenessについて

《結論》

In conclusion, setting a licence policy for cyclists will not contribute to road safety due to its infeasibility and inadequacy. Therefore, I disagree with this proposal to require cyclists to have a licence to ride bicycles.

Score-up writing

採点項目

ハイスコアをとるにはまず何が加点要素になっているのかを把握することが必要。

また、スコアに伸び悩んだ時はなぜ上がらないかを考える必要があり、採点項目を理解した上で、その採点項目を満たしたエッセイを書いているかを分析する。

IELTS Task 2は次の4項目で採点される。

1. Task response:問題への答え方

2. Coherence and cohesion:文書の一貫性/流れ

3. Lexical resource:単語のバラエティ

4. Grammatical range and accuracy:文法/構文のバラエティ

それぞれで6.0と7.0の採点項目の違いは次のとおり。

Task response

6.0

  • addresses all parts of the task although some parts may be more fully covered than others
  • presents a relevant position although the conclusions may become unclear or repetitive
  • presents relevant main ideas but some may be inadequately developed/unclear

7.0

  • addresses all parts of the task
  • presents a clear position throughout the response
  • presents, extends and supports main ideas, but there may be a tendency to over-generalise and/or supporting ideas may lack focus

1. addresses all parts of the task

回答が問題文のTopic wordsとすべてのOther keywordsの視点から書かれていること。

E.g.)Some experts say for road safety, cyclists should pass a test before being allowed on public roads.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

この例題には、cyclists, pass a testというTopic wordsと、road safety, public roadsというOther keywordsがあり、これらを全て網羅して、「cyclistsはroad safetyのためにpublic roadsで自転車に乗るのにpass a testするべきだ」という主張に対して自分の意見を書く必要がある。

「ただ自転車にのるためにpass a testするべきだ(Agree)/すべきでない(Disagree)」と書いた場合にはfully coveredされていないことになる。”public roadのroad safetyのため”に pass a testするべきかどうかを書く必要がある。

2. presents, extends and supports main ideas, but there may be a tendency to over-generalise and/or supporting ideas may lack focus

各パラグラフのトピックセンテンスとサポートセンテンス(トピックセンテンスの説明と具体例)がしっかり書かれていること。

また、回答が一般的な内容ではなくて、その問題に特化した内容になっていること。

E.g.)Some experts say for road safety, cyclists should pass a test before being allowed on public roads.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

例えば、この問題に「自転車への免許証の義務付けは現実的でない」という主張でDisagreeするとき、「行政に膨大なコストがかかる」という理由をつけた場合次のように書ける。

Imposition of the nationwide licence policy for all cyclists is inviable due to the associated financial burden for the government. To be clearer, the introduction of this regulation may include the necessity of strengthened surveillance by hiring additional police officers. Take the Japanese Metropolitan Police for example, they had to double the number of officers when the use of electric scooters became legal. A lot more police officers may have to be employed if all bicycle users are in the scope. Obviously, allocation of the government’s budget regarding this policy may not be adequate when considering other social problems, such as poverty or homelessness, which require a large amount of money for the government to address.

しかし、この理由は特に自転車への免許の義務付けに限ったことではなく、新しい制度/規則を作る際に一般的に言えることで、一見非常によく書けているように見えるが、自転車への免許証の義務付けに絞られていない。また、for road safetyにつながるかという視点で書かれていない。

現実的ではない理由をTopic words (cyclists, pass a test)とOther keywords (road safety, public roads)に関連させて「自転車の利用者が多いから」という理由にすると以下のように書ける。

Imposing a nationwide licence policy for all cyclists is inviable due to the large number of bicycle users on the roads today. To be clearer, in many countries, unlike the number of automobile drivers, tremendously large numbers of people, from children to adults, rely on bicycles as a means of everyday transportation. In Japan, to encourage children to start using a bicycle at a very early age, many elementary schools have a program which educates them not only in skills for safe riding but also in road regulations. If a licence was required, all children who have their own bicycles would be subjected to surveillance by police officers in their legal compliance and riding practice, which is obviously impractical. Therefore, such policy is meaningless for road safety.

3. presents a clear position throughout the response

イントロダクション→ボディ1→ボディ2→結論で明確に自分の意見が一貫していること。

E.g.) Some experts say for road safety, cyclists should pass a test before being allowed on public roads.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

イントロダクション:実行できない点と効果がない点から安全にはつながらないので絶対反対

ボディ1:全ての自転車の持ち主にテストを課すのは実行不可能

ボディ 2:全ての自転車の持ち主にテストを課しても効果はない

結論:ボディ1とボディ2からテストを課すのは不可能だし安全への効果はない。つまり反対。

と主張を明確にイントロダクションから結論まで主張を貫く必要がある。

この問題では、To what extent do you agree or disagree?(どの程度賛成か反対か)と聞いているので、100%賛成か100%反対かを書いた方がTo what extentに答えやすい。(条件付きで賛成などは250文字では明確に主張が伝えられず、曖昧な主張になって終わる可能性が高い。)

Coherence and cohesion

6.0

  • arranges information and ideas coherently and there is a clear overall progression
  • uses cohesive devices effectively, but cohesion within and/or between sentences may be faulty or mechanical
  • may not always use referencing clearly or appropriately
  • uses paragraphing, but not always logically

7.0

  • logically organises information and ideas; there is clear progression throughout
  • uses a range of cohesive devices appropriately although there may be some under-/over-use
  • presents a clear central topic within each paragraph

1. logically organises information and ideas; there is clear progression throughout

論理的に情報とアイディアがまとめられていること。

読み進めるにつれてしっかりと内容が深くなっていること。時間がないと前の文をただ言い換えただけの文を書いてしまったりして、文と文で進展がなくなってしまっている場合が多くある。

2. uses a range of cohesive devices appropriately although there may be some under-/over-use

いろいろな接続詞、文と文をつなぐ語句(Signposting word)が適切に使われていて、スムーズに読めること。

各文と文の間に、接続詞やつなぐ語句を入れることで、前の文と次の文の関係が分かりやすくなり、展開/流れ(論理的な)が分かりやすくなる。

3. presents a clear central topic within each paragraph

各パラグラフで明確な主張ができていること。

各パラグラフで1つのトピックセンテンス(main idea)がバシッとキマっていて、それを他のサポートセンテンスが支えるパラグラフになっている必要がある。

Coherence and cohesionを上げる書き方1:Signposting wordを使う

Signposting wordは文と文の関係性やパラグラフの役割を読者に伝えるための道標となる単語のこと。

例えばFor example, —-は前の文に対して具体例を読者に示す場合に使われ、In conclusion, —はそのパラグラフがエッセイの中で結論を言っていることを読者に伝える。

このSignposting wordによって、読者はこれから読む文やパラグラフがどんなものかを把握でき、文の流れや内容を余計に考えることなく読むことができる。

良い英文には必ずSignposting wordがしっかりと使われ、流れのいい読みやすい文になっている。

覚えておくべきSignposting word

同じ意味でも複数のSignposting wordを覚え、一度使った語句はできる限り使わない。例えば、For exampleをボディ1で使ったらボディ2はFor instanceにする。

文と文のSignposting word

例を示す:

For instance, … / For example, … / In fact, … / This can be illustrated by … / …, namely, … / …, such as … / To illustrate, … / As an illustration, …

情報を追加する:

Furthermore, … / Moreover, …/ Additionally, …/ It is also important to highlight …/ In detail, …/ Especially, … / Also, … / Similarly, …/ In particular, …/

違う言葉で言い換える:

To be clearer, …/ To be precise, …/ In other words, …

同じようなポイントを述べる:

Similarly, … / Likewise, … / Also, …

比較する:

By contrast, … / Unlike …/ Conversely, …/ In contrast, …

—について述べる(about—よりフォーマルにできる):

With respect to …/ In terms of … / With regards to …/ As for …/ Concerning…

—ではあるけれども/—だとしても:

Although … / Even though … /Despite, … /Nevertheless, …

しかし:

However, …

理由:

Because, … / As, … / Since, …

結果:

Therefore, … / Subsequently, … / Hence … / Consequently, … / Accordingly, …/ As a result (of), …/ As a consequence (of), …

一般論:

In general, … / Generally, … /

パラグラフのSignposting word

ボディのはじめ:Firstly, … / First and foremost, … /  Secondly, … / On the one hand/On the other hand, …

結論のはじめ:In conclusion, … / To conclude, … / In summary, …

注意:

And, Butで文を始めることはしない。and, butは文の途中で使われる接続詞。AndとButは日本語のように文頭で使う”そして(副詞)、”や“しかし(副詞)、”としては使えない。(And, S + V —とはしない)

And ⇒ Moreover, Furthermore, In addition, Additionally,

そして ⇒ Consequently, In conclusion, Then, Therefore, As a result,

But ⇒ However, On the other hand, Nevertheless

So ⇒Therefore, As a result, Consequently, For this reason,

So は会話では文頭で使うがWritingでは使わない。また文中で、—. so — として使うのも避け、文中で使う場合には —, and therefore —とする。

Signposting wordの例

Secondly, imposition of the test does not lead to safety of cyclists on roads. In other words, traffic accidents involving bicycles usually stem from the lack of morality of bike riders. For example, some bicycle users ride at a speed of more than 30 km/h and turn without any advance notice. Even if those ill-mannered cyclists have lectures for their theoretical understanding of safety, they may not change their practice on the roads. In fact, some mandatory programs for high school students have been introduced in Japan for their safe commuting to school, but the number of accidents has not changed at all. This fact clearly demonstrates the meaninglessness of the requirement.

Coherence and cohesionを上げる書き方2:Summary nounを使う

「中国の成長率見通しは暗くなるばかりで、モルガンスタンレーのエコノミストチームは第3四半期と第4四半期の予想成長率を前期比5.1%から3.1%にそれぞれ引き下げ、今年全体の予想は4.8%から4.4%に引き下げた。この修正は中国政府が目標とする5%前後よりかなり低く、年間成長率が目標に届かないと見込む市場関係者は増えている。」

前の文で述べたことを次の文で使うときに、“この修正(は)”と前の文の内容を一言にすることで文の流れがよくなる。このように前に述べたことの要約を表す単語をSummary nounという。

英語でも同じで、Summary nounを使うことで文の流れがスムーズになり文と文の結びつきがよくなる。

Summary noun (単数)の例

In Japan, people drink green tea after dinner, and this practice contributes to smooth digestion.

The northern area of Japan suffered from a huge earthquake in 2011. This event helped people to recognise the importance of disaster preparedness.

The Japanese GDP per capita declined by 1.52% from 2020 to 2021. This issue urged the government to strengthen economic measures.

Summary noun (複数)の例

In Japan, people drink green tea after dinner and refrain from eating snacks between meals, and these practices are believed to contribute to smooth digestion.

The average income per person in Japan dropped by 3.05% during the last decade and, following this problem, the Japanese GDP per capita declined by 1.52% in the same period. These issues urged the government to strengthen economic measures.

Regarding water and electricity utilities, some consumers fail to pay simply due to their lack of financial leeway, while others do not pay for reasons unrelated to income. These groups should be addressed differently.

Summary noun such(そのような)の例

such a + 可算単数名詞  /  such 不可算名詞or複数名詞

As a measure for those who do not pay their utility bills, disconnecting the service regardless of the reason is often used by private providers to enforce payment. Such harsh means should not be allowed as this method causes a life-or-death situation for households living in poverty. Such families have no choice to pay at the sacrifice of their food.

Summary nounの選び方のポイントは前の文がつまり何なのか?を表す名詞を探すこと。

問題事項: problem, issue

難しいこと: difficulty, challenge

状態:situation, circumstance

変化:change, movement, shift, development, expansion

傾向:tendency, trend

結果:result, achievement, accomplishment

意見:opinion, idea, belief

出来事;event, activity, action, experience, practice

行動:attempt, movement

itの使用に注意! itではなくSummary nounを使うべき!

よく前の文をitやthisで表そうとしている文があるが、itやthisは代名詞で”名詞”の代わりになる。前の文(=“名詞”ではない)の代わりにはなれない。

(×) The Japanese GDP per capita declined by 1.52% from 2020 to 2021, and it urged the government to strengthen economic measures.

この場合、it = (the) Japanese GDP per capitaとなってしまい、GDPが下がった“こと”を表すのではない。必ず前の文全体を指す単語issue, problemなどを使う。

(〇) The Japanese GDP per capita declined by 1.52% from 2020 to 2021, and this issue urged the government to strengthen economic measures.

Lexical resource

6.0

  • uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task
  • attempts to use less common vocabulary but with some inaccuracy
  • makes some errors in spelling and/or word formation, but they do not impede communication

7.0

  • uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision
  • uses less common lexical items with some awareness of style and collocation
  • may produce occasional errors in word choice, spelling and/or word formation

1. uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision

Paraphraseすることにより同じ単語の繰り返しの使用は絶対に避ける。同じ意味の同意語(Synonym)を使う。

同じ単語や似た単語の繰り返しは、文から文への発展性に欠け、同じことを言っているだけのくどい文書に見える。(これは大学院に願書を書く場合も同じ。単語を変えながら自分の想いを伝える)

同意語はgoogleで”synonym”と検索👇

2. uses less common lexical items with some awareness of style and collocation

(less common) Lexical itemsとは複数の単語からなる一つの意味を持つ語句のこと (nice to see youやon the other handもlexical items)。 また、ここでless commonとは、特定の場合に使われる語句のことである。

例えば、advertisingについて論じるときのpaid advertising on social media(ソーシャルメディアの有料広告)やBlack Friday offers for tech products((スマホなど)テック製品のブラックフライデーセール:offerは名詞)など、advertisingのときに限って使われる(逆に日々不特定に使われない=less common)語句のことである。paid advertising on social mediaをadvertising on social media which is paid by sponsorsなどとするとスコアアップにはならない。

正しいコロケーションで使うこと

コロケーションとは単語と単語の組合せのことで、文法的には正しくても組合せが悪いと通じない。

例えば、「薬を飲む」はdrink medicineではなくtake medicine。「影響を与える」はmake an impactで、makeと同じ”作る”のcreateでcreate an impactと言っても通じない。paid advertising on social mediaも、同じ有料でchargedを使ってcharged advertising on social mediaではない。この様に正しいコロケーションで特定の話題で使われる語句を書く必要がある。

アカデミックなコロケーションのリストは以下のホームページからダウンロードできので(時間があれば)ご参考に。https://www.pearsonpte.com/teachers/academic-collocation

3. may produce occasional errors in word choice, spelling and/or word formation

正しく単語を選択すること。

例えば、”適切な”という意味の単語でも、appropriate, suitable, adequate, proper, fitting, efficientなどがあり、

負傷者への”適切な”処置:appropriate/proper/adequate treatment

“適切な”対応:suitable/appropriate measures

など場面によって違う”適切な”を選ぶ必要がある。

Lexical resourceを上げる書き方:Paraphrase

イントロダクションでも問題文のParaphraseをしてエッセイの問題定義をしたが、ボディの中でも同じ単語の使用はできるだけ避ける。英語は特に同じ単語の繰り返しを嫌う。

同じ単語の使用は語彙力のなさを示し、同じ単語の連発は単調な発展性のない英文に見えてしまう。

Paraphraseのコツ

同意語(Synonym)への変換

名詞:salary → earnings, revenue, profit, wages, payment, money

形容詞:happy  → pleased, merry, satisfied, grateful

副詞(句):in the last 10 years → over the decade

国:Japan → country, nation, government

エリア:the Pacific Ocean  → area, territory, sea

IELTS Writing Task2 でよく使う同意語へのParaphrase

developments → advancements/advances → innovation → progress

important → vital → indispensable → significant → essential

advantages (of) → benefits (of)→ positive aspects (of)

negative aspects (of) → downsides (of) → drawbacks (of) → negatives (of)

support → assistance → help

damage → pollute → degrade

reduce → relieve → alleviate → ease

詳しく補足する

具体化:expertise → special knowledge in — / specific skills in —

説明:subjective opinion → opinion based on personal feelings

説明:university → higher educational institution

説明:Master’s degree  → advanced university degree

品詞を変える

名詞→形容詞:budget of each year → annual budget

形容詞→名詞:academic knowledge  → knowledge in academia

副詞→形容詞 & 形容詞→名詞:be equally necessary  → be of equal necessity

Paraphraseがある文とない文の比較1

<Paraphraseなし>

There are two advantages of working for a big company. One of the advantages is the level of salary. Those who work for a big company usually earn more than £100,000 every year. The salary offered by big companies is far higher than that of small companies. The other main advantage is employee benefits. Big companies offer a wider variety of employee benefits than small companies.

advantages → one → benefit

working for → are employed by

(big) company → (large) corporation → (major) firms → (small) businesses → (Large) enterprises → (small) ones

offered (by) → provided (by)

employee welfare → employee perks

salary → income

<Paraphraseあり>

There are two main advantages of working for a big company. One is the level of salary. Those who are employed by a large corporation usually earn more than £100,000 every year. The income provided by major firms is far higher than that of small businesses. The other main benefit is employee welfare. Large enterprises offer a wider variety of employee perks than small ones.

Paraphraseがある文とない文の比較2

<Paraphraseなし>

The causes of rising levels of air pollution are the growth and expansion of manufacturing as well as the number of people travelling by car. If the number of people travelling by car grows and manufacturing expands further in the future, people’s health will be severely impacted. It is an urgent issue for the government to manage the number of people travelling by car and the growth of manufacturing.

<Paraphraseあり>

The causes of rising levels of air pollution are the growth and expansion of manufacturing as well as the number of people travelling by car. The future increase in automobile users and further industrial development will result in serious illness. The government is urged to manage the number of motorists and the growth in the industrial activities of manufacturing.

もしmanufacturingのパラフレイズが思い浮かばない場合などは、industrial activities of manufacturingのようにmanufacturingを説明するような言い方に変えるのもあり。

その他同じ単語の繰り返しを避ける方法

同意語(Synonym)に変える以外にも、the + 形容詞、that / those、former / latterに変換することで同じ単語の繰り返しを避けることができる。

the + 形容詞

—な人々は— peopleではなくthe + 形容詞で表すことでpeopleの繰り返しを避けることができる。

The government needs to help homeless people.

→ The government needs to help the homeless.

Poor people often have a lower life expectancy than rich people.

→ The poor often have a lower life expectancy than the rich.

that / those

The average income in the UK is higher than the average income in Japan.

→ The average income in the UK is higher than that of Japan.

People in the UK usually spend Christmas holiday with family, while people in Japan spend it with friends.

→ People in the UK usually spend Christmas holiday with family, while those in Japan spend it with friends.

former / latter

とくにDiscussionタイプの問題に使える。”Some expertは—-と言うが、other expertsは—と言う”という問題の場合、”some expertの主張 = former”,  ”other expertsの主張 = latter”になる。

Some experts say for road safety cyclists should pass a test before being allowed on public roads. However, others think it is more beneficial to strengthen patrols by police.

Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

It is argued by some experts that a licence scheme for riding bicycles should be introduced for the sake of road users’ safety, whereas others claim that strengthening police patrols is more valuable. In my opinion, the former proposal will be more successful, as it could contribute to eventual road safety through knowledge of traffic rules and better manners, while the benefits of the latter may be temporary.

Grammatical range and accuracy

6.0

  • uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms
  • makes some errors in grammar and punctuation but they rarely reduce communication

7.0

  • uses a variety of complex structures
  • produces frequent error-free sentences
  • has good control of grammar and punctuation but may make a few errors

1. uses a variety of complex structures

試験で時間に追われている時は特に自分が好きな文法で書いてしまったり、日本語的な文を書いてしまいがち。気づいたら2文連続でItの仮主語から始まる文になっていたり、“—の場合/—なら”は全て“If—”の文で書いていたりしてしまう。

意識的に文法を変える練習を日ごろからする必要がある。

Grammatical range and accuracyを上げる書き方 1:Nominalisation

IELTSのWritingでスコアを上げるために絶対に必要なのがNominalisation(名詞化)である。

文をNominalisationさせるとスコアは0.5上がる! と言っても過言ではないくらい大切。

Nominalisationとは文/節/句を名詞化すること。

英語は大切な語句を前におく言語である。文の中で主語が最も重要度が高く、主語を文のキーワードになる“名詞”にして(Nominalisation)、名詞(節)と名詞(節)の関係を具体的な動詞でつなぐとストレートなAcademicな文ができる。

特にイントロダクション、ボディ1とボディ 2のトピックセンテンス(と最後の一文)、結論はNominalisationして書くようにする。

Nominalisation 例1

The government analysed the data and found that the number of obese people had increased. 

👇【Nominalisation】

An analysis of the data by the government revealed an increase in obesity.

“The government analysed the data and found that—”という句を”An analysis of the data by the government”という名詞にする。

もし「政府が分析したこと」が大切なら最初の英文がよいが、「ある分析“analysis”が結果“increase in obesity”を示した」ことが大切なら、キーワード”analysis“と”increase“を動詞で結ぶ形にすることで文の主張を明確にすることができる。

Nominalisation 例2

If the government introduces tax rules, they will help those on low incomes.

👇【Nominalisation】

The introduction of new tax rules by the government will help those on low incomes.

If students actively participate in the field trip, they will definitely improve their research skills.

👇【Nominalisation】

Active participation in the field trip will definitely improve their research skills.

このように日本人がよく書きがちな”もし(If)—なら—“の文もNominalisationすることで主語がキーワードになり、すっきりと主張が伝わる1文になる。

Nominalisation 例3

People can be successful in their career development if they possess exceptional knowledge in information technology.

👇【Nominalisation】

Possession of exceptional knowledge in information technology can help people succeed in their career development.

👇【Nominalisation】

Possessing/Having exceptional knowledge in information technology can help people succeed in their career development.

このようにpossessionという名詞が思い浮かばなかったらPossessing (Having)と動名詞にして主語にしてもよい。

Nominalisationでよく使う動詞

enable

The introduction of new tax rules by the government will enable those on low incomes to be self-reliant.

(低所得者の自立を可能にする)

People can have a wider variety of choices in respect to where they live and work due to advanced technology.

Advanced technology has enabled people to have a wider variety of choices in respect to where they live and work.

bring

The introduction of new tax rules by the government will bring financial benefits to those on low incomes.

(低所得者に経済的利益をもたらす)

If night curfews are imposed on teenagers, the restrictions will work in a positive way.

Restrictions on teenagers by imposing night curfews would bring some positive outcomes.

bring about

Bring aboutはBringとは異なり変化を伴う場合に使われる。主に受動態で使われる。

The change in the law was brought about by many protests and petitions to the government.

Hopefully the demonstrations will bring about a change in the law regarding coal mining.

The end of the war was brought about by diplomatic negotiations.

Create

Many people can find out about problematic issues when information is shared by a well-known person, who is sometimes called an influencer.

Sharing information by a well-known person, who is sometimes called an influencer, can create opportunities for many people to find out about problematic issues.

benefit

The introduction of new tax rules by the government will financially benefit those on low incomes.

(低所得者に経済的利益がある)

In the open-space-design offices, employees can work more efficiently.

The open-space-design offices benefit employees by improving their efficiency.

offer

The introduction of new tax rules by the government will offer those on low incomes financial benefits.

(低所得者に経済的利益をもたらす)

People can have a wider variety of learning options through E-learning than conventional educational practice.

E-learning can offer a wider variety of learning options than conventional educational practice.

provide

The introduction of new tax rules by the government will provide those on low incomes with financial benefits.

(低所得者に経済的利益をもたらす)

Police officers can use CCTV camera evidence to arrest robbers.

CCTV cameras will provide police officers with evidence to arrest robbers.

contribute (to)

The introduction of new tax rules by the government will contribute to the financial support of those on low incomes.

(低所得者に役立つ)

Through local social events, people can improve their mental wellbeing.

Local social events contribute to people’s mental wellbeing.

contribute to — / lead to —のto以降は動詞はなく名詞が来るので、動詞は動名詞に変えること。

The open-space designs contribute to reducing stress of employees. To be clearer, this practice leads to employees feeling relaxed as they are not necessarily close to their boss.

(open-space designs : 会社で席を固定せずに好きな場所で仕事ができるオフィスのレイアウトのこと)

play a role (in)

The introduction of new tax rules by the government will play a role in decreasing the number of those on low incomes.

(低所得者の削減に役立つ)

People can enjoy online shopping, which is becoming more popular due to the spread of the Internet.

The growth of the Internet is playing a vital role in the increasing popularity of online shopping.

lead to

The introduction of new tax rules by the government will lead to a decrease in the number of those on low incomes.

(低所得者の削減につながる)

If parents and children can gain monetary support from the government, they can feel more at ease.

The availability of monetary support from the government may lead to parents and children feeling a greater sense of security.

contribute to — / lead to —のto以降は動詞はなく名詞が来るので、動詞は動名詞に変えること。

また、lead to somebody —ingの形も覚えておくと使える。

The open-space designs contribute to reducing stress of employees. To be clearer, this practice leads to employees feeling relaxed as they are not necessarily close to their boss.

(open-space designs : 会社で席を固定せずに好きな場所で仕事ができるオフィスのレイアウトのこと

allow

The introduction of new tax rules by the government will allow those on low incomes to be more self-reliant.

(低所得者の自立を可能にする)

Employees can work anywhere they want in the office if companies introduce hot-desking.

The introduction of hot-desking allows employees to work wherever they want in the office.

facilitate

The introduction of new tax rules by the government will facilitate the self-reliance of those on low incomes.

(低所得者の自立を容易にする)

Employees can be more creative if they have interactions with colleagues in different divisions.

Interactions between different divisions in the company will facilitate creativity.

encourage

The introduction of new tax rules by the government will encourage those on low incomes to be more self-reliant.

(低所得者の自立を促す) encourage somebody to do something

Adolescents can be more confident and encouraged to stand up for their rights by listening to pop-songs.

Pop-songs encourage adolescents to be more confident in standing up for their rights.

require

The introduction of new tax rules by the government will require those on low incomes to be self-reliant.

(低所得者が自立することを要求する)

Users are not required to see the faces of counterparts when communicating over the Internet.

Communication over the Internet does not require users to see the faces of counterparts.

help

The introduction of new tax rules by the government will help those on low incomes to be more self-reliant.

(低所得者が自立すること助ける)

If there were a single government for the entire world, it would resolve global issues but ultimately limit the distinctiveness of each individual nation.

A single government for the entire world could help resolve global issues but would ultimately limit the distinctiveness of each individual nation.

result in

The introduction of new tax rules by the government will result in greater self-reliance of those on low incomes.

(低所得者の自立につながる)

Small shops are closing because of the growth of Internet shopping.

The growth of Internet shopping may result in the closing down of small shops.

foster

The introduction of new tax rules by the government will foster greater self-reliance of those on low incomes.

(低所得者の自立を促す)

Art can improve people’s physical, mental, and emotional health to help them recover / their recovery.

The creation of art will foster physical, mental, and emotional health, aiding the recovery process.

give

The introduction of new tax rules by the government will give an opportunity for those on low incomes to be more self-reliant.

(低所得者に自立の機会を与える)

People can think about their local region and discuss with neighbours by having an insight into domestic news.

Having an insight into domestic news gives people opportunities to think about their local region and to discuss issues with neighbours.

Grammatical range and accuracyを上げる書き方 2:無生物主語 / 受動態

無生物主語でも日本語にはない英語ならではのフォーマルでスパっと決まる文を作れる。(Nominalisationはあえて文を名詞化させて、主語にしたり目的語にしたりしたが、無生物主語は普通に名詞を主語にすること)

無生物主語

Due to the heavy rain, many flights were cancelled.

The heavy rain caused the cancellation of many flights.

Because of technological developments, the quality of living has improved.

Technological developments have improved the quality of living.

受動態

AcademicなWritingでは主語にPeopleやWeを使うことは避け、受動態が使われる場合が多い。“人々”を明確にしたい場合には、”At the individual level”として追加する。受動態にしても”by people”や”by us”は不要。

People should act immediately to protect the local environment.

Immediate action should be taken to protect the local environment.

At the individual level, immediate action should be taken to protect the local environment.

People should make a greater effort to improve their health.

A greater effort should be made to improve people’s health.

At the individual level, a greater effort should be made to improve health.

Grammatical range and accuracyを上げる書き方 3:Complex Noun

Nominalisationや無生物主語などアカデミックライティングはとにかく名詞を中心に、名詞を修飾して、修飾された名詞をつなげることを意識する。

名詞を前からと後ろから修飾・説明して、文ではなく修飾された名詞を作る。

名詞は形容詞だけでなく前置詞、to不定詞、現在分詞、過去分詞などを用いて名詞の前からも後ろからも修飾する。

(ただし、必要以上に名詞を修飾すると何を言いたいのか分からなくなるので注意。)

Because advertising affects children’s mental health if it is violent and horrific and is broadcast during the day, the government should control it.

<Complex noun>

Horrific violent advertising broadcast during the day should be controlled by the government because it has an impact on the mental health of children.

”if it is violent and horrific and is broadcast during the day”を”Horrific violent advertising broadcast during the day”に名詞化

Complex nounの作り方

Complex nounを作る方法は次の通り。

<修飾>

現在分詞:People owning their own flats dislike property taxes.

過去分詞:Animals protected by the WWF are often endangered.

前置詞(句):The percentage of people in full time work increased by 10%.

不定詞:The ability to write clearly is important in IELTS.

<説明>

関係代名詞:Students who have little money will need to get a job.

同格:Platoon, a movie about the Vietnam War, won an Academy Award in 1987.

Grammatical range and accuracyを上げる書き方 4:Complex structure

ただの第1~5文型だけではなく、色々な構文を入れたり、文を関係代名詞で説明したり、仮定法を入れたり、バラエティー豊かな文を入れる。

また、副詞節(例えばbecause—)を文の前に置くか、後につけるかでも副詞節の強調度合は変わり、文のバラエティを増やすことができる。

Not only—, but also—や仮定法は絶対使うなど使う構文を決めておく。特に仮定法はサポートセンテンスで具体例を書いた後に”(その例に対して)もし—があれば/もし—であったのなら”など加えることができ使える場面は多い。

次の文法や構文は必ず押さえておく。

接続詞(because, so that, although, while, whereas, etc)で主節に情報を追加する

Violent advertising should be controlled by the government because it may have an impact on the mental health of children.

Although there is an administrative burden on governments to develop and impose new laws, it may improve citizen’s quality of life.

接続詞をあえて先に出す(従属節because—を強調)

Because it may have an impact on the mental health of children, violent advertising should be controlled by the government.

関係代名詞による語句の説明(非制限用法:コンマwhich)

 Violent advertising, which may have an impact on children’s mental health, should be controlled by the government.

関係代名詞による文の説明(非制限用法:コンマwhich

Violent advertising is controlled by the government, which many parents support as this helps protect children’s mental health.

Global climate change has caused many environmental issues, many of which have had great impacts on people living in developing countries.

前置詞句で主節に情報を追加する

Violent advertising has been controlled by the government due to its reported negative impact.

前置詞句をあえて先に出す(前置詞句を強調)

Due to its reported negative impact, violent advertising has been controlled by the government.

There is/are構文

There is a law which controls violent advertising.

so that構文

Some advertising has been reported to be so violent that the government has decided to control it.

not only—, but also—構文

Some advertising may have a negative impact on mental health, not only for children but also for adults.

仮定法

If the government did not control advertising, many young children would be negatively affected.

If the government had not controlled advertising, many young children would have been negatively affected.

If the government had not controlled advertising, many young children would be negatively affected.

第4文型、第5文型

第1~3文型だけではなく、第4文型、第5文型を積極的に取り入れる。

第4文型:SVOO

Parents should teach children moral behavior for the sake of their social development.

第5文型:SVOC(O = C)

Teenagers tend to find their own behavior ill-mannered once it is pointed out by others.

Grammatical range and accuracyを上げる書き方 5:分詞構文

分詞構文を使うことで文をすっきりとさせることができる。

Global climate change is one of the most challenging problems in the world today, causing drought in some areas and floods in other places. The main cause of this is believed to be the increase of human activity after the industrial revolution.

この文は分詞構文(causing—)が原因(Global climate change)と結果(drought/flood)をつなぐ役割を果たしている。後の文もGlobal climate changeに関連した内容(The main cause of this (global climate change) is — )になる。

分詞構文は適当に使うのではなく、次の文との兼ね合いを見て使うかどうかを決める。

もし、パラグラフをdrought/floodに関して話を広げたい場合は、分詞構文は使わないで、This(=Global climate change)から始まる1文を作って発展させてゆく。

Global climate change is one of the most challenging problems in the world today. This has caused drought in some areas and floods in other places. Many people are suffering from these natural disasters regardless of their geological location.

分詞構文には直前に副詞を入れて、原因と結果を強調することもできる。

Large vehicles consume more fuel compared to small ones, thus damaging the environment by generating more CO2 emissions.

Many companies have acknowledged the importance of environmental improvements, therefore contributing to reducing the use of plastic bags.

分詞構文を使って条件節を挿入する:

whenは可能性が確実な場合、ifは可能性が分からない場合に使う。

The new tax rules, when introduced, will help those on low incomes. (new tax rulesは施行されることが決まっている)

The political reforms, if implemented, will directly relate to the diplomacy. (political reforms は実施されるか分からない) 

Grammatical range and accuracyを上げる書き方 6:助動詞

助動詞により動詞に変化をつける。

The violent advertising can/may/must/ should/ought to be controlled by changing the relevant law.

can:〜できる

may:〜かもしれない/〜だろう

must:〜しなければならない

should:(主観的に)〜したほうが良い/〜するべきだ

ought to:(客観的に)〜するべきだ

この他にも助動詞はあるがIELTSのライティングで使い分ける必要があるのはこの5種類。

Grammatical range and accuracyを上げる書き方 7:倒置

not only A, but also Bの構文の倒置

not only A, but also Bの構文も倒置させて書くことでプラスで加点要素になる。

否定語句(Not)が文の先頭にくるとその後は倒置が起こり、疑問形の形(were people—)の形になる。

A company’s relocation has economically positive impacts on rural areas. Not only are people employed but also it leads to other local businesses making profit. (会社の移転は地方へ良い経済効果をもたらす。人々が雇用されるだけではなく、地方の他のビジネスも利益を得るようになる)

According to one academic journal, not only do human pupils feel anxious when being away from parents, but also animal babies suffer from high-level stress if they are isolated from their mothers. (あるacademic journalによると、人間の子供だけが親と離れたときに不安を感じるのではなく、動物の赤ちゃんも母親から引き離されたときに強いストレスに陥る。)

We not only lost our money, but we also lost our way.→ Not only did we lose our money, but we also lost our way.

仮定法の倒置(Ifの省略)

仮定法はIfを省略して助動詞を前に出す倒置の文でも同じ意味の文が作れる。

If the government did not control advertising, many young children would be negatively affected.

Did the government not control advertising, many young children would be negatively affected.

If the government had not controlled advertising, many young children would have been negatively affected.

Had the government not controlled advertising, many young children would have been negatively affected.

If the government had not controlled advertising, many young children would be negatively affected.

Had the government not controlled advertising, many young children would have been negatively affected.

not only, but alsoの倒置と仮定法の倒置のミックス

If the world was controlled by one government, people would probably see a more peaceful world. Not only would this concept bring peace to the world, but also discrimination based on nationalities would be eliminated, which would be another contributor for an ideal world.

もし世界が一つの政府によって統治されたら、人々はより平和な世界を見るだろう。この案は世界に平和をもたらすだけではなく、国籍による差別を減らすことになり、それは理想的な世界に向けたもう一つの役目になるだろう。

書く内容

内容は自分が単語を知っていて書きやすいネタを選ぶ。ただし、知っている単語に引っ張られて問題文のキーワードから外れてしまわないように注意する。

難しい内容は絶対に書かない。簡単な内容を難しい単語・構文で書く。内容の試験ではなく英語の書き方の試験。

特に問題文に”should”が入っている場合や何かの政策に関することは、”—するべき”という意見に対しては次の項目から考えると作りやすい。

実行可能性 : practicability, availability

実行不可能性:improbability, unavailability

現実性:viability,

可能性:possibility, feasibility

不可能性:impossibility, unfeasibility, impracticability

効果/影響/効率:effectiveness, efficiency, contribution, impact, cost-effectiveness (費用対効果)

効果のなさ/非効率さ:ineffectiveness, inefficiency

潜在的なリスク:potential risk

利便性:convenience

Some experts say for road safety, cyclists should pass a test before being allowed on public roads.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is argued by some experts that a licence scheme for riding bicycles should be introduced for the sake of road users’ safety on common roads. I am in disagreement with this proposal, considering the impracticability and ineffectiveness of this suggestion.

Some people think the main purpose of school is to turn children into good citizens and workers, rather than to benefit them as individuals.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is argued that school education ought to play a role in improving the personal traits of children for the sake of creating ideal citizens and generating skillful workers, instead of pursuing the outstanding talents of individuals. I am fully in agreement with this opinion, considering their contributions to society.

Some countries are considering imposing curfews in which teenagers will not be allowed outdoors at night unless they are accompanied by an adult.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this policy?

In some countries, people opine that it is better to restrict the amount of time teenagers spend outside at night by themselves. Considering the negative impacts of keeping them inside and the impracticability of the policy, I totally disagree with this proposal.

NG ライティング:避けるべき書き方

自分の主観 / 自分のコトは避ける

IELTSのライティングはアカデミックな書き方で他人を説得する文章にする必要がある。

主語に”I”は基本使わない。(イントロダクションで自分の意見を述べるときと結論で再度その主張を繰り返すときだけ“I”を使ってもOK)

自分の意見を書く場合は、my view / my opinionに変える。

I think that — → In my view, — / In my opinion, —

また、I/we, my/ourを使うのではなく、一般的に人々の場合は”people”、 個々人としての人々は”individuals”を使う。

Adequate social support can improve people’s quality of life.

Mental health support by society can support individual’s well being.

主観(”おいしい”など人によって意見が異なる可能性のあるもの)を入れる場合は説明として入れる。

When we eat tasty sweets, we always feel we can relieve anxiety.

It is generally believed that eating sweets, which most people recognise as tasty, helps them to relieve anxiety.

誰からみてもそうだと思わせる単語を使う。個人的な主観を入れない。

The recent development of artificial intelligence is interesting.

The recent development of artificial intelligence is significant.

自分の経験の例や自分の感想を入れない。

Based on my experience, —/ I experienced —/ My father told me that—/ According to my friend, —などは具体的であっても他人への説得力に欠ける。

100%そうだという表現を避ける

日本人が書いている英文には気づかないうちに英語では100%そうだと断定している表現が多く使われている。

“is/are”や”will”は100%そうだという表現になる。

形容詞、助動詞、副詞を入れることで、100%断定を避けることができる。ただし、自分の主張など断言するべきところはしっかりと断言するようにする。

The cause of global warming is the CO2 emissions from cars.

この文だと温暖化の全ての原因は自動車からのCO2排出(その他の要因はない)となってしまう。

The primary cause of global warming is the CO2 emissions from cars.

One of the main causes of global warming is the CO2 emissions from cars.

The policy will contribute to improving people’s quality of life. 

この文だと政策は(絶対に)人々の生活を向上させる(100%向上させる)となってしまう。

The policy can contribute to improving people’s quality of life.

The policy has the potential to improve people’s quality of life.

It is expected that the policy can contribute to improving people’s quality of life.

Fast food is unhealthy for children.

この文だといかなるファストフードも子供にとって不健康であるとなってしまう。

Fast food is generally unhealthy for children.

Some fast food is unhealthy for children.

Most fast food is believed to be unhealthy for children.

“そして”、“しかし”から文を始めるのにAnd—, But—は避ける

日本人が英文をつくるときに”そして”と”しかし”の表現としてよく用いてしまうAndとBut。フォーマルな文ではAndとButから文を始めることをネイティブはしない。また、”なので”を表すのにメールなどで使われるSoもインフォーマル。

And → In addition, Furthermore, Moreover, Also

But → However, Nevertheless,

So → Therefore/(文中で) and therefore,  Consequently, As a result,

また、”Aだけれども、Bである”を表す場合は、Although A, B.もしくはB, though Aとする。 ネイティブによってはThoughから始まる文に違和感を感じる人もいるので、文頭で使う場合にはAlthoughを使う。

話し言葉での書き方は避ける:Spoken English vs Written language

Phrasal verb(句動詞)

Phrasal verbは使わない。Speakingのときには加点されたPhrasal verbはしゃべり言葉なので、Writingでは減点要素になる。動詞は具体的な動詞を使う。

Phrasal verbとは”give up”のように動詞と前置詞/副詞を組み合わせてつくるフレーズのこと。”give up”はabandon やrenounce(断念する)など具体的な動詞を使う。

The policy will lead to the government running out of the allocated funds.

The policy will lead to the government exhausting the allocated funds.

The government should think about the availability.

The government should consider the availability. / The availability should be considered (by the government).

Phrasal verbでも中にはAcademic phrasal verbという論文などでもよく使われているPhrasal verbがあり、これらはIELTSでも使うことができる。

しゃべり言葉のPhrasal verbは簡単な動詞(look, think, get, work find, go, etc.)と前置詞/副詞の組合わせで、Phrasal verbにすることで動詞単体とは意味が変わることが多いが、Academic phrasal verbは使われている動詞自体の意味から大きく変わらないことが多い。

Academic phrasal verbの例:

  • depend on — : —に依存する、—に左右される
  • consist of — : —から構成される
  • participate in — : —に参加する
  • point out — : —を指摘する
  • engage in — : —に従事する
  • result from — : —に起因する、—が原因である
  • result in — : —という結果になる
  • stem from — : — に起因する(=result from)

a lot of / lots of

“多くの”を表すときにa lot of / lots ofはWritingでは使わない

lots of people → many people, the majority of people

really

”本当に価値のある”など形容詞を強調するのにWritingではreallyは使わない。

Childhood experiences are really valuable.

Childhood experiences are highly/fairly/particularly/significantly valuable.

その他話し言葉

pros and cons (良い点と悪い点), in a nutshell (結論として), it goes without saying (言うまでもなく)も話ことばなのでWritingでは使わない。

その他日本人が英会話で学ぶ単語には多くの話し言葉単語があるので、それはWritingではフォーマルな単語に変える。動詞は幅広く使える動詞ではなく具体的な動詞に変える。

kids → children, the younger generation,

everyone  → individual(s), every —(具体的な名詞) 

make → generate, create, produce, develop, manufacture, construct, build

get → receive, gain, achieve, acquire, obtain

give → provide, offer, supply

use → consume, spend, utilise, exhaust

汎用性のある単語は避ける

goodやbadなど良い/悪いの表現は具体的な形容詞に変える。”good synonym”などで検索して適切な単語を見つける。

修飾する名詞によって“適切な形容詞”を使い分ける。

good → positive, valuable, reasonable, justified, valid, reasoned, rational, appropriate, effective, meaningful, acceptable, informative, sound

bad → negative, meaningless, harmful, unacceptable, wrong, faulty, inefficient, unsuitable, adverse, useless

動詞も汎用性のある動詞ではなく場面に応じて特定の意味をもつ動詞を使う。

make:汎用性のある曖昧な意味での”作る”

  • create : (ゼロから)作り上げる・創作する
  • produce : 生産する、生み出す
  • generate : 生み出す、(収益などを)生む
  • build / construct : (建物などを)作る、建築する
  • manufacture : 製造する

get:汎用性のある曖昧な意味での”得る”

  • gain:獲得する、達成する
  • obtain:手に入れる、取得する
  • acquire:習得する、身につける
  • receive : 受け取る、もらう
  • earn:稼ぐ、(信頼を)得る
  • purchase:購入する

また、”—を知る”や”知見を得る”というのは次のようにgain/obtain/acquireを使って表現できる。

(※)knowは—を知っている状態の意味で新たに知識を得る意味ではない。

gain / obtain / acquire knowledge of — (from/through~)

gain / obtain / acquire / develop an understanding of — (from/through~)

Notによる単なる否定は避ける

「好きではない=嫌い」ではない。つまり、I do not agree with the proposal.は提案に賛成ではないというだけで反対とは読めない。同じようにnot healthyはunhealthyとは理解してもらえない。しっかりと嫌い、不健康、不賛成と書く。

I do not agree with the proposal.

I disagree with the proposal.

It is generally believed that fast food is not healthy.

It is generally believed that fast food is unhealthy.

抽象的で具体性に欠ける表現は避ける

何気なくもしくは時間が無くて深く考えずに使っている語句でも文書に曖昧さが残ってしまうことがあるのでできるだけ具体的に書く。

過去/未来・時間ははっきりといつか書く

In the past, the telephone was the only means of communication.

In the past, before mobile phones became available, the telephone was the only means of communication.

For young people, communication skills are important for their future.

For young people, communication skills are important when they start work.

抽象的な名詞は例を入れる

Many employers place greater importance on soft skills.

Many employers place greater importance on soft skills, such as communication skills.

People tend to feel higher levels of stress in big cities in Japan.

People tend to feel higher levels of stress in big cities in Japan, especially in Tokyo.

抽象的な名詞は説明を入れる

Meeting new people can broaden students’ horizons.

Meeting new people with different academic backgrounds can broaden students’ horizons.

過去形と現在完了形の混同は避ける

現在完了形と過去形はしっかりと使い分ける。

過去に起きたことが現在まで続いているのであれば現在完了形、過去に起きたことだけを言う場合は過去形を使う。

現在完了形

継続:He has been busy for a long time.::過去から“今まで”ずっと忙しい

経験:I have seen the movie five times.:過去から“今まで”に5回その映画を見たことがある

完了/結果:I have just cleaned the kitchen.:今ちょうどキッチンを掃除したところ(“今まで“掃除していて今綺麗な状態)

過去形

I was busy for a long time.:しばらく忙しかった(今は忙しいか分からないが、その過去の忙しさは続いていない)

I saw the movie yesterday.:その映画を昨日見に行った(昨日行ったという事実だけ)

I cleaned the kitchen.:キッチンを掃除した(今そのキッチンが綺麗かは分からない)

主語が明確になっていない文書は避ける

主語が明確になっていない文書は文法的に正しくてもただの一般論になってしまう。誰が何をすることが—なのかを明確にすること。

It is important to learn cultural differences to have a peaceful relationship.

この文は一見正しいことを言っているようですが、誰が学ぶことが大切か?つまり誰が主語なのかが書かれていない。特にItを主語とする文書を作ると動作の主体が抜ける場合が多い。

It is important for diplomats to learn cultural differences to have a peaceful relationship.

不必要に長い文書は避ける

同じことを言うのであればすっきりと単語数を減らして書く方法を考える。

文字数を達成するために長い表現を使いがちになるが、メインで言いたいこと以外の部分では無駄な単語を省き、punchy(パンチの効いた)文を書くようにする。下の例も”Despite the fact that there are”は”Although”の1語に変えられる。

Despite the fact that there are many engineers who argue that AI will surpass human beings by 2050, they have not presented any evidence which proves their arguments.

Although many engineers argue that AI will surpass human beings by 2050, no evidence for their arguments have been presented.

単語の省略は避ける

I think thatのthatは会話では省略可能だがWritingでは必ず書く。関係代名詞なども省略はしない。

notやwillなども短縮させずにしっかりと書く。

can’t → can notもしくはcannot

it’s → it is, that’s → that is

アメリカ英語とイギリス英語の混合は避ける

アメリカ英語とイギリス英語は、どちらで書いてもよいが、どちらかに統一して書く必要がある。ミックスはダメ。

日本の教科書で主に習っているのはアメリカ英語なので迷ったときは知っている方の単語で書き続ければいい。

アメリカ英語とイギリス英語の違い

  • 「-er-」(米)が、「-re-」(英)になる
    • (テスト)センター:center(米)⇔ centre(英)
    • シアター:theater(米)⇔ theatre(英)
  • 「-or-」(米)が、「-our-」(英)になる
    • 習慣:behavior(米)⇔ behaviour(英)
    • ユーモア:humor(米)⇔ humour(英)
    • 得意な:favorite(米)⇔ favourite(英)
  • 「-z-」(米)が、「-s-」(英)になる
    • 組織する:organize(米)⇔ organise(英)
    • 組織:organization(米)⇔ organisation(英)
    • 謝る:apologize(米)⇔ apologise(英)
    • ~だとわかる:realize(米)⇔ realise(英)
    • 記憶する:memorize(米)⇔ memorise(英)
    • 非難する:criticize(米)⇔ criticise(英)
  • 「-ce-」(米)と「-se-」(英)になる(場合がある)
    • 免許(名詞) / 免許を与える(動詞):(米)名詞も動詞もse:license ⇔(英)動詞はse:license/名詞はce:licence
    • 練習/習慣(名詞) / 練習する(動詞):(米)名詞も動詞もce:practice ⇔(英)動詞はse:practise/名詞はce:practice
  • “l”と”ll”
    • イギリス英語のほうが”ll”になる場合
      • travelの過去形/過去分詞系:traveled(米)⇔ travelled(英)
      • fuel(燃料にする)の過去形/過去分詞系:fueled(米)⇔ fuelled(英)
    • アメリカ英語のほうが”ll”になる場合
      • スキルのある:skillful(米)⇔ skilful(英)
      • 果たす、満たす:fulfill(米)⇔ fulfil(英)

6.5 と 7.0 の違い

おさらい

IELTS Task 2は次の4項目で採点される。

1. Task response:問題への答え方

2. Coherence and cohesion:文書の一貫性/流れ

3. Lexical resource:単語のバラエティ

4. Grammatical range and accuracy:文法/構文のバラエティ

これまでに説明したこれらの要素を踏まえてライティングを改善すると以下のようになる。

Some experts say for road safety cyclists should pass a test before being allowed on public roads.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is argued by some experts that a test for riding bicycles should be introduced for safety on common roads. I disagree with this proposal because the requirement is impractical and ineffective.

Firstly, it is impractical to impose a test on all cyclists because there is too large a number of bicycle users. In many countries, a very large number of people, from children to adults, use bicycles as a means of transportation, which is different from automobiles. In Japan, elementary schools have a program which educates children in safe riding techniques and road regulations. If a licence were required, police officers would need to inspect all children who have their own bicycles. This is obviously impractical and does not lead to road safety.

Secondly, the licence scheme does not improve the safety of cyclists on roads. Traffic accidents involving bicycles usually happen because of the bad manners of riders. For example, some bicycle users ride at a very high speed and change direction without any sign. Even if those bad-mannered cyclists have classes to understand about safety, they tend not to change their practice on the roads. In Japan, some programs for students have been introduced for their safety on roads, but there are many accidents. This fact clearly shows that such programs are not effective at improving safety.

In conclusion, it is impractical and ineffective to impose a bicycle licence policy. Thus, I disagree with this proposal to require cyclists to have a licence to ride bicycles.

Overall: 6.5

IELTS Writing 採点官によるスコアリングとコメント

もしこのエッセイのように全く文法・単語でミスなく書ければ6.5-7.0になる。本番では時間的な焦りや緊張からミスが出てしまうことは避けられなく、ミスの量によっては6.0になる。

Task response:  6.5    

All parts of the prompt have been addressed. Introduction could be expanded to include main points from each paragraph. Main ideas are relevant and supported well. The second paragraph could be further developed as the example is slightly over-generalised. The conclusion is a little repetitive.

Coherence and cohesion:  6.5    

Excellent overall structure with a clear, main idea for each paragraph. Effective topic sentence at the beginning of each paragraph. Good use of grammatical structures giving natural cohesion within sentences.

Lexical resource:  6.5    

Good range of vocabulary used to avoid repetition. Attempted to use some less common lexis with accurate collocations. Some errors in word choice which cause slight difficulty conveying meaning, e.g, using nouns when it’s more appropriate to use an adjective.

Grammatical range and accuracy:  7    

All sentences are free of grammatical errors. A wide variety of simple and complex grammar structures have been used accurately, e.g. present perfect, conditions, relative clauses, etc.

Some experts say for road safety cyclists should pass a test before being allowed on public roads.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is argued by some experts that a licence scheme for riding bicycles should be introduced for the sake of road users’ safety on common roads. I am in disagreement with this proposal, considering the impracticability and ineffectiveness of this suggestion.

Firstly, imposing a nationwide licence policy for all cyclists is inviable due to the large number of bicycle users on the roads today. To be clearer, in many countries, unlike the number of automobile drivers, tremendously large numbers of people, from children to adults, rely on bicycles as a means of everyday transportation. In Japan, to encourage children to start using a bicycle at a very early age, many elementary schools have a program which educates them not only in skills for safe riding but also in road regulations. If a licence was required, all children owing bicycles would be subjected to surveillance by police officers in their legal compliance and riding practice, which is obviously impractical. Therefore, such policy is meaningless for road safety.

Secondly, imposition of test does not lead to safety of cyclists on roads. In other words, traffic accidents involving bicycles usually stem from the lack of morality of cyclists. For example, some bicycle users ride at a speed of more than 30 km/h and turn without any advance notice. Even if those ill-mannered cyclists have lectures for their theoretical understanding of safety, they may not change their practice on the roads. In fact, some mandatory programs for high school students have been introduced in Japan for their safe commuting to school, but nevertheless the number of accidents has not changed at all. This fact clearly demonstrates the meaninglessness of the requirement.

In conclusion, setting a licence policy for cyclists will not contribute to road safety due to its infeasibility and inadequacy. Therefore, I disagree with this proposal to require cyclists to have a licence to ride bicycles.

Overall: 7.0

IELTS Writing 採点官によるスコアリングとコメント

もしこのエッセイのように全く文法・単語でミスなく書ければ7.0-7.5になる。本番では時間的な焦りや緊張からミスが出てしまうことは避けられなく、ミスの量によっては6.5になる。

Task response:  7    

All parts of the prompt have been addressed. Introduction could be expanded to include main points from each paragraph. Main ideas are relevant and supported well. The second paragraph could be further developed as the example is slightly over-generalised.

Coherence and cohesion:  7.5    

Excellent overall structure with a clear, main idea for each paragraph. Effective topic sentence at the beginning of each paragraph with information sequenced logically. Good use of grammatical structures giving natural cohesion within sentences. Excellent use of cohesive devices to guide the reader through the text.

Lexical resource:  7    

Good range of vocabulary used to avoid repetition. Attempted to use some less common lexis with accurate collocations. Some errors in word choice which cause slight difficulty conveying meaning, e.g, using nouns when it’s more appropriate to use an adjective. Evidence of appropriate paraphrasing to avoid repetition.

Grammatical range and accuracy:  7    

All sentences are free of grammatical errors. A wide variety of simple and complex grammar structures have been used accurately, e.g. present perfect, conditions, relative clauses, etc.

Preparation

書き始める前に

高得点を狙うためにすることは書く前の準備をしっかりとすること。準備がしっかりできていれば後は途中で迷うことなく一心に書くだけ。

準備には最低6分、できれば10分使う気持ちで大丈夫

書く前の準備 その1

Topic words、Other keywords、Instruction wordsの3つを”しっかりと”把握する。(絶対にTopic wordsは〇で囲み、Other keywordsには下線):Topic wordsとOther keywordsの一部が抜けているとtask achievementで減点となる。

問題タイプ:5タイプの内のどれか?をしっかりと把握する。

E.g. 1) Students’ academic performance improves when they are rewarded rather than punished. 

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

この例では、Studentのacademic performanceについて、rewarded かpunishmentのどちらがimproveさせられるかを聞いている。

rewardedかpunishmentのどちらが必要かの一般的な子供の教育の話にしてしまってはスコアは出ない。ここでは”Studentの”academic performanceのimproveに絞って、親と子の教育ではなく学校での生徒のacademic performanceについて書く。

E.g. 2) Some experts say for road safety, governments should encourage people to use bicycles instead of cars.

Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

この問題の場合、road safety のために政府は車より自転車を推奨するべきだという意見のadvantagesとdisadvantagesを聞いている。つまり、advantagesもdisadvantagesもroad safetyの視点から書かなくてはいけない。もし環境問題の視点から車と自転車を比較したらそれはスコアにならない。

E.g. 3)In some poorer areas of large cities, people are too afraid to leave their houses at night because of fear of crime.

What are the causes of crime in those areas and what can be done to solve those problems?

この問題の場合large citiesのpoor areasでのcrimesの原因についてと、人々がnightにafraid to leave housesしてしまう問題への解決策を書く。一般的な都市での犯罪の多さではなく、大都市での貧困エリアでの犯罪の多さに絞って、夜に外出を躊躇してしまうことへの対策を書く。

E.g. 4)Some people think that zoos are cruel and should be closed down. Others, however believe that zoos can be used in protecting wild animals.

Discuss both views and give your opinion.

この問題では「zooはcruelなのでclose downするべき」という意見と「zooはprotecting wild animalsの点でcan be usedである」という相反する意見の両方を書く。そして自分はどちらの意見に賛成かを書く。両方の意見ともにKey wordsに絞って、zooがcruelである理由とprotecting wild animalsの点で有益である理由を書く。cruel以外の理由やprotecting wild animals以外の有益性は書かない。

書く前の準備 その2

  1. 何を書くかを決める:トピックセンテンス/サポートセンテンスの内容を決める
  2. 各文をどうつなぐか、どんな構文を入れるかを決める
  3. Topic wordsとOther keywordsの同意語(Synonym)や近い意味の単語、関連した単語を書き出す
  4. 最後にもう一度問題文を読み直し、書く内容が正しいかを確認する

Some experts say for road safety, cyclists should pass a test before being allowed on public roads.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

1. 何を書くかを決める:トピックセンテンス/サポートセンテンスの内容を決める

2. 各文をどうつなぐか(Signposting words)、どんな構文を入れるかを決める

3. Topic wordsとOther keywordsの同意語(Synonym)や近い意味の単語、関連した単語を書き出す

cyclists → riding bicycles, bicycle users, transportation

pass a test → licence scheme, nationwide licence policy, road regulations, requirement, lectures, theoretical understanding, mandatory programs

road safety → road users’ safety, skills for safe riding, surveillance by police officers, legal compliance and riding practice, traffic accidents, ill-mannered cyclists

public road → common roads

impracticable → impracticability, inviable, inviability meaningless, unfeasibility, inconvenient, inconvenience

ineffective → ineffectiveness, meaninglessness, inadequate

4. 最後にもう一度問題文を読み直し、書く内容が正しいかを確認する

Some experts say for road safety, cyclists should pass a test before being allowed on public roads.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

完成した文はPracticeのOpinion/argumentative essaysをご確認ください。

Practice

Opinion/argumentative essays

What is your opinion? / Do you agree or disagree? / To what extent do you agree or disagree? などで聞かれる質問

E.g.) Most people believe that stricter punishment should be given for traffic offences.

To what extent do you agree? ‌

主張を明確にするために、どの程度(To what extent)と聞かれても、completely agree (100%賛成) かcompletely disagree (100%反対)のどちらかで答える。

キーワードが2つあったら、それぞれのキーワードに対してagree/disagreeの理由をボディ 1とボディ 2にそれぞれ書く

E.g.) Some people say that to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus more on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

ボディ 1: environmental pollution についてagree/disagreeの理由、 ボディ 2: housing problemsについてagree/disagreeの理由 (両ボディともagreeもしくはdisagreeの立場で書く。environmental pollution についてはagreeで、housing problemsについてはdisagreeなどとはしない。)

Sample

Some experts say for road safety, cyclists should pass a test before being allowed on public roads.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

  • Topic words:cyclists
  • Other keywords:road safety, test
  • Instruction words:agree, disagree

It is argued by some experts that a licence scheme for riding bicycles should be introduced for the sake of road users’ safety on common roads. I am in disagreement with this proposal, considering the impracticability and ineffectiveness of this suggestion.

Firstly, imposing a nationwide licence policy for all cyclists is inviable due to the large number of bicycle users on the roads today. To be clearer, in many countries, unlike the number of automobile drivers, tremendously large numbers of people, from children to adults, rely on bicycles as a means of everyday transportation. In Japan, to encourage children to start using a bicycle at a very early age, many elementary schools have a program which educates them not only in skills for safe riding but also in road regulations. If a licence was required, all children owing bicycles would be subjected to surveillance by police officers in their legal compliance and riding practice, which is obviously impractical. Therefore, such policy is meaningless for road safety.

Secondly, imposition of test does not lead to safety of cyclists on roads. In other words, traffic accidents involving bicycles usually stem from the lack of morality of cyclists. For example, some bicycle users ride at a speed of more than 30 km/h and turn without any advance notice. Even if those ill-mannered cyclists have lectures for their theoretical understanding of safety, they may not change their practice on the roads. In fact, some mandatory programs for high school students have been introduced in Japan for their safe commuting to school, but nevertheless the number of accidents has not changed at all. This fact clearly demonstrates the meaninglessness of the requirement.

In conclusion, setting a licence policy for cyclists will not contribute to road safety due to its infeasibility and inadequacy. Therefore, I disagree with this proposal to require cyclists to have a licence to ride bicycles.

(294 word)

Positive/Negative questions (Opinion/argumentative essaysのひとつ)

何か事実が与えられてそれに対してポジティブ(良いこと)かネガティブ(悪いこと)かポジティブとネガティブの両方かを述べる。

E.g.) Many governments encourage elderly people to return their driver’s licence.

Is this a positive or negative development?

この問題タイプでは、Advantage/disadvantage essaysとは違ってポジティブとネガティブの両方を書いて比較する必要はない。

“ボディ1・ボディ2両方ともポジティブ”もしくは”ボディ1・ボディ2両方ともネガティブ”にして100%どちらと思うかを書く。それか、”ボディ1にポジティブ、ボディ2にネガティブ”を書いて、ポジティブの面もネガティブの面も同じくらいあるという結論にしてもいい。

ボディ1・ボディ2両方ともポジティブ/ネガティブにしてしまうより、ポジティブ・ネガティブの両方を書いた方がネタが出しやすい場合が多い

Sample

Many governments encourage elderly people to return their driver’s licences when they are no longer capable of driving.

Is this a positive or negative development?

  • Topic words:return, driver’s licence
  • Other keywords:governments, encourage
  • Instruction words:positive, negative

Positiveな面もNegativeな面も両方あると書く場合:

Urging senior drivers to forfeit their licence has been proposed by some politicians. In my view, this idea can be recognised as both positive and negative practice as it contains potential risks to the elderly in losing their means of transportation but is valuable considering the effectiveness of reducing the number of fatal incidents.

The mandatory return of driver’s licences may lead aged people to suffer some negative effects due to a lack of freedom. It often impacts their lives, especially in local areas where the transportation system is not well-developed as they have no means of visiting family or accessing hospitals without a car. In fact, one old person living in a remote village, whose family forced him to stop driving, experienced a serious deterioration in his mental health due to feeling so withdrawn from society. As this example illustrates, people’s freedom to travel is directly related to their health and wellbeing.

On the other hand, this proposal will contribute to the decrease of traffic accidents caused by the older generation. The loss of certain physical abilities of elderly people has been scientifically proven and the number of traffic accident caused by them has been increasing. For example, in Japan, more than half of fatal traffic accidents are caused by older drivers. Last year, one child was killed by a senior driver when he mistakenly put his foot on the accelerator instead of the brake. Bereaved families argue that if his driver’s licence had been withdrawn, such a disastrous accident would not have occurred.

In conclusion, the encouragement for more mature drivers to return their driver’s licence may lead to a loss of access to essential facilities and social interaction, but it will be a contributor to improving road safety. Therefore, in my opinion, this proposal has both favourable and adverse effects at equal measure.

(306 words)

Discussion/discursive essays

Discuss both views and give your own opinion / Discuss these views and then give your opinion などで聞かれる質問

E.g.)Some people think it is more beneficial to play sports that are played in teams. However, some people think it is more beneficial to play individual sports.

Discuss both views and give your own opinion. ‌

イントロダクション1文目の問題のParaphraseは、問題文では”—. However, —“と2つの意見が2文に分かれていてもwhereas/while(接続詞)でつないで2つの意見を1文で書く。

  • Some people argue that…, whereas/while others say that…
  • It is considered by some that…, whereas/while there are others who think…
  • It is often argued that…, whereas/while others disagree and think…

Discussion/discursive essaysには”and give your own opinion”がある場合とない場合があるので、ない場合には自分の意見は書かない。Give your own opinionがある場合、かならずどちらに賛成かを書く。

Give your own opinionがある場合、自分が反対する方をボディ1、自分が賛成する方(推す方)をボディ2にする。先に反対する方を書いた方が、その反対する方を受けて賛成する方を書けて結論に結び付けられる。

ボディ 1もボディ 2も同じ分量で書く(賛成する方を多く書かない)。

Sample

Some experts say for road safety, cyclists should pass a test before being allowed on public roads. However, others think it is more beneficial to strengthen patrols by police.

Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

  • Topic words:cyclists
  • Other keywords:road safety, test, strengthen patrols, police
  • Instruction words:both views, your opinion

It is argued by some experts that a licence scheme for riding bicycles should be introduced for the sake of road users’ safety, whereas some claim that strengthening police patrols is more valuable. In my opinion, the former proposal would be more successful, as it could contribute to eventual road safety, while the benefits of the latter may be temporary.

On the one hand, it is claimed by some experts that strengthening police surveillance of cyclists is an effective measure for road safety. This proposal would obviously result in raising people’s awareness for heeding traffic rules. For example, it has been reported by the Japanese Metropolitan Police that their stricter patrol campaign for bicycle users contributes to reducing ill-mannered cyclists when it is held. This outcome is understandable as hypothetically, if police officers were placed at every intersection, bicycle riders would slow down at every corner.

On the other hand, as other experts argue, the requirement of a licence for all cyclists would lead to the improvement of road safety. In other words, the imposition of periodical tests, regardless of being practical or theory based, could provide cyclists with the opportunity to understand and remain updated not only on traffic rules but also the techniques of safe riding. In fact, since the educational bodies in Japan have mandated students to undergo training courses for safe bicycle riding, according to a survey, students’ respect for road safety has improved and the number of accidents involving them has declined.

In conclusion, from my point of view, raising cyclists’ understanding of regulations and improving road safety habits, rather than putting pressure on people from authority, could ultimately lead to safety on the roads. Therefore, I believe that the licence scheme is more advantageous.

(290 words)

Advantage/disadvantage essays

What are the advantages and disadvantages of —?, Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?, Discuss the advantages and disadvantages and give your opinion?で聞かれる問題。 

E.g.) The use of social media, such as Facebook and Twitter, is replacing face-to-face contact with many people.

Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? ‌

ボディ1にAdvantage、ボディ 2にDisadvantageを書く。(Discussion essayの様に反対する方をボディ 1にするように書いてあるテキストもあるが、AdvantageとDisadvantageの両方を書くように問題にあるのでどちらを先に書いてもよい)

自分の意見を聞かれている場合(”and give your opinion”がある場合)、Advantage/ Disadvantageのどちらかが大きい(outweigh) を理由をつけて書く。同じくらいやどちらかが少し多いなど主張が曖昧になる回答は避けて、100%Advantageか100%Disadvantageかで答える。

例:消費税の増税は市民の負担(Disadvantage)になるが、医療の充実(Advantage)につながる。医療は人の命に関わるため、Advantageの方がDisadvantageより大きい。

Outweighとは単純にAdvantage(良い点)とDisadvantage(悪い点)のどちらが大きいか(多いか)で考える。Advantage/ Disadvantageのどちらかが大きくても、ボディ 1とボディ 2は同じ分量で書く。

覚えておくべきSynonym

  • advantage → benefits, positives, positive effects
  • disadvantage → drawbacks, negatives, negative effects
  • A outweigh(s) B → A is greater than B

メリット(merit) / デメリット(demerit)は使わない。”merit”の本来の意味は「長所」や「取り柄」といった意味を表し、”demerit”は「短所」や「落ち度」などと解釈される。和製英語のメリット・デメリットとは意味が異なる。

問題文はだいたいthe advantages and disadvantagesと複数形になっているが、複数個浅く書くよりもadvantageとdisadvantageを1つに絞って深く書く。

問題に”and give your opinion”がない場合は自分の意見は書かない。

Sample

Some experts say for road safety, governments should encourage people to use bicycles instead of cars.

Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

  • Topic words:road safety
  • Other keywords:governments, bicycles, cars
  • Instruction words:advantages、disadvantages

It is argued by some experts that the replacement of cars with bicycles ought to be promoted by governments for the sake of road safety. This idea may reduce the number of severe injuries caused by automobiles, but it would have potential risks of increasing pedestrian casualties involved in bicycle accidents. From the viewpoint of protecting vulnerable people walking on the street, I believe that the negative effects outweigh the positives.

The attempt to encourage the use of bicycles could contribute to reducing the number of severe car accidents. It is obvious that the more slowly people move, the less the shock would be if they collided. Take Vietnam, where the majority of people commute by bicycle, for example, the annual number of severe injuries caused by traffic accidents, such as broken bones, is less than a thousand, while in the USA, a country which has the biggest automobile society, it is about 1.2 million. These figures clearly demonstrate the benefit of using bicycles as safe transportation.

However, this attempt would increase the possible risks for pedestrians to be involved in more fatal accidents. In many countries, because regulations for bicycles are not as well developed as for cars, cycling on footpaths is not strictly prohibited and has caused many accidents with walkers. In Japan, two children became the victims of a collision with a cyclist pedalling at 30km/hour on the pavement. If the number of cyclists increases, the frequency of such miserable accidents will increase, which is a threat for pedestrians, especially children and elderly people.

In conclusion, substituting cars with bicycles could be a contributor in reducing severe injuries, whereas it would potentially be a threat for pedestrians. Giving first priority to the safety of walkers who are at greater risk of serious injury, I believe the drawbacks of this idea outweigh the benefits.

(306 words)

Problem/Cause & Solution essays

“What are the causes of this? (Cause) How can this problem be solved? (Solution)”, “What are the negative impacts of —? (Problem) What can be done to minimise the bad effects? (Solution)”などと聞かれる問題。

E.g.) Fewer and fewer young people are choosing to become teachers.

What is causing young people to not want to be teachers? How could this be improved? ‌

この問題タイプに対して覚えるべき単語

  • problem → issues, trouble, situation
  • cause → reason, the reason why, source
  • solution → deal with, address, tackle, take measures, solve, rectify

1つ(もしくは2つ)のProblem/CauseとSolutionを挙げて深く書く。また、Problem/CauseとSolutionはリンクさせて、ボディ1で書いた問題に対する解決策をボディ2に書く。

問題文ではproblems/causes, solutionsと複数形になっているがone of the—として書けば複数挙げる必要はない。アイディアを深くできそうな場合は1つずつにして、深く書けない場合は2つずつにする。

Sample

Using fossil fuels causes too many environmental problems. This is totally unacceptable as other forms of energy are available.

What problems are caused by using fossil fuels? What solutions can you suggest?

The use of fossil fuels has caused many serious issues for the environment and global warming is one of them. This essay will highlight the global temperature rise and suggest that the replacement of petrol-fuelled cars with electric cars should contribute to addressing the problem.

Global warming is one of the most urgent issues caused by the use of conventional fuel. In detail, combustion of petroleum releases carbon dioxide into the atmosphere and eventually damages the ozone layer, which results in the rising temperature of the earth. Scientists argue that serious problems, such as floods and severe drought, have occurred in many places due to climate change. These natural disasters can eventually lead to global food shortages due to the inability to grow crops successfully in the conditions. Therefore, the United Nations alerts that without any measures, millions of people would die due to starvation.

The spread of electric cars is one of the most beneficial solutions to tackle the above issue. In other words, attempts to abolish gas-powered vehicles is the most effective and expeditious solution as the majority of CO2 emissions stem from road transportation. Especially, encouragement by governments for citizens to purchase battery vehicles is extremely valuable. Take China for example, the amount of CO2 emissions from automobiles has successfully declined by 20% within the country once it carried out a national campaign to subsidise the purchase of environmentally friendly vehicles. Many citizens took advantage of this policy and they would not have bought new cars if the government had not backed it.

In conclusion, the use of fossil fuels has contributed to global warming, which is a scientifically proven fact. The spread of environmentally friendly cars, by phasing out conventional automobiles, should potentially solve the issue.

(290 words)

Direct question/ two parts question essays (a mix of all five question types)

これまでに紹介した4つのパターンの問題形式をミックスさせた問題形式。

E.g.) Many elderly people are involved in traffic accidents when they are riding bicycles.

Why do you think so many elderly people involved?  What are the possible solutions?

(“Why do you think so many elderly people involved? “= Opinion / “What are the possible solutions?” = Solution)

Problem/Cause & Solution essaysと似ていて、1つ目の質問をボディ1に、2つ目の質問をボディ2に書く

Sample

Many elderly people are involved in traffic accidents when they are riding bicycles.

Why do you think so many elderly people are involved?  What are the possible solutions?

  • Topic words:more and more elderly people
  • Other keywords:traffic accidents, riding bicycles
  • Instruction words:why involved, what solutions

Nowadays, there are many road accidents involving aged cyclists. This essay will demonstrate that the main reason for this is a loss of brain function and show that a mandatory licence scheme is the logical way of tackling this issue.

The most significant reason for the high number of accidents caused by senior cyclists is the degradation of physical abilities as people get older. Many scientific reports have proved that the number of nerve cells in the brain, which determines the level of attentiveness and reaction to danger, tends to decrease as people age. Because of this unconscious loss of their ability to avoid accidents, the elderly cannot stop suddenly after they detect potential risks of dangerous incidents. In fact, the Japanese Metropolitan Police showed that many of the collisions caused by senior bicycle riders could have been avoided if they had stopped only one second earlier.

The enforcement of a licence scheme for aged cyclists is a potential solution to this problem. By imposing not only physical assessments but also psychological tests on an annual basis, the suitability to ride bicycles safely can be judged. This policy has actually been introduced in one of the Japanese regional areas where the cases of traffic accidents by elderly bicycle riders was the most serious problem. There, the number of cases was successfully lowered by 20% after the implementation of this regulatory policy. Although there are some barriers in feasibility, this idea has the potential to contribute to cutting the number of victims of such accidents.

In conclusion, the deterioration of the elderly’s ability to acknowledge and react to incidents on the road is the primary reason for their involvement in traffic accidents while cycling. One of the possible solutions to this is implementing a mandatory licence for such cyclists.

(298 words)

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